Why women like shoes...

So...after unwilling watching "What not to wear" with my wife, I have come to a determination.  An epiphany if you will.  I have discovered the reason why women have an unnatural obsession with shoes.  

It demonstrates their superiority over other women!

Now hear me out.  Women want to make a statement with their shoes.  Often times, they are regarded as the cornerstone of an outfit.  A woman's ability discern a fitting pair of shoes demonstrates her ability

 to derive the essence of all things that women hold valuable.  Of out the millions of possible options put before her in shoe selection, she was capable of finding the one pair of shoes that coordinates with such precision that her judgement is beyond reproach.  Thus, she is clearly superior in all things womanly.

In summary:

Beware of spider monkeys

I feel like I just got my ass kicked by a gorilla.  Wait...no.  Not a gorilla.  If I got my ass kicked by a gorilla, I wouldn't have any arms and my face would be plastered on the wall (you heard what happened when that lady tangled with a chimp right?).  Alright, so maybe not a gorilla, more like a tag team of spider monkeys.  You know, the kind you diaper and keep as pets?  Yeah, it feels like a pair of those little assholes went to town on my legs with a pair a pliers and a blowtorch.

So the reason I feel like ass right now (other than the spider monkeys) is because yesterday I started a running plan.  Note that I haven't actually run for more than 15 seconds since college.  Basically, it's a plan to get a couch potato like me into good enough shape to run a 5k over the course of about 3 or 4 months.  My wife is really interested in getting in shape with me, so I think I'm going to hold off on continuing the plan for a few months until she is ready too.